Football’s Worst Kits

With the new football season rapidly approaching, a wave of fresh optimism immerses every football fan ‘this season will be better than the last’. It’s at this time of year that our football clubs, the length and breadth of the country launch new kits for the forth-coming season. Star players will be parading the new strips on cat walks and fashion shoots, there will be gimmicks and there will be unique selling points – Arsenal and Aston Villa’s new home shirts are made entirely from recycled plastic bottles, Liverpool’s 3^rd strip is controversially blue and Fulham are launching a new skin tight shirt based on the template of recent AS Roma and Italy shirts.

Unfortunately kit makers don’t seem to make shirts anymore that go down in the annals of history as major fashions faux-pas. The home strips remain largely consistent, with minimal creativity being reserved for the away or 3rd strip. Focus is placed on incorporating the name of the sponsor and technology that helps to improve acceleration, explosive power and air flow to the skin.

Although the horror strip has become something of a rarity, fortunately in the 1990’s, the decade of the dungarees, MC Hammer trousers and neon coloured clothing, football kit designers and marketing departments had licence to put any clashing colours together to help flog their wares.

This blog is all about celebrating those ‘horrors’, the monstrosities that still haunt your club to this day, from the ‘decade that style forgot’. There’s also one or two blunders from the last few years for good measure.

So here is 10 of the worst or best in my opinion, and I would love your comments on some others that I might have missed out. (Click on the images to get a better look)

Celtic – away 1991-1992

Celtic, absolutely synonymous with the classic green and white hoops, yet when it comes to away strips they get a little creative. Unfortunately this away shirt from the early 90’s, with the downward zig zag, resembling the fall in Fords stock market value or possibly the outline of the Grampian mountains didn’t match the quality of their home shirt. Combining  pistachio green and brown, this shirt that was due to run for 2 seasons was unceremoniously ditched after just 1 season.

Hull City – home 1992-1993

Designer: “What’s your club’s nickname?” Chairman: “The Tigers.” Designer: “Right, that’ll do.” In a ground-breaking moment in football fashion, Hull unveiled a Tiger-skin shirt in 1992. Nothing of its like has been seen since, although perhaps it inspired some of the outfits worn by Spice Girl Mel B.

Norwich City – home 1992-1994

This early 90’s shocker was affectionately known by fans as the ‘bird poo’ kit, pretty apt considering the team are nicknamed the Canaries. Norwich wore the shirt for consecutive season, which were the first two of the newly formed Premier League giving the shirt and instant place in the collective football memory.

Barcelona – away 1994-1995

Turquoise, a colour rarely seen in football shirts, yet regularly used by Barcelona and often to good effect, but this effort from the mid 90’s, worn under the stewardship of Johann Cruyff and adorned by greats such as Hristo Stoichkov, Romario and Luis Figo did match the quality on the pitch. The turquoise blocks on the front of the shirt resembling some sort of Pablo Picasso tribute, done to poor effect.

Notts County away 1994-1995

Notts County were dropping through the leagues like a stone and this kit did little to improve the morale of fans. A tartan ensemble, with little relation the clubs history did not prove much of a hit on the terraces. Quite why a club 150 miles south of Hadrian’s Wall decided to adopt the Scottish look remains a mystery.

Chelsea – away 1994-1996

Chelsea have had there fair share of stinkers over the last few years. The fluorescent away strip from 2 seasons past, that resembled a cycling jacket was pretty horrific, but this away shirt from the mid 90’s is comfortably their worst. It’s rare you see orange and grey come together – club legends Dennis Wise and Ruud Gullit must grimace seeing pictures of themselves in this shirt.

England (goalkeeper) – away – 1995-1996

The first time an England goalkeeper had worn all red since the glory of 1966 and this was the result – David Seaman looked like a traffic light or a poor mans clown in this kit. In an era where goalkeeper shirts got gradually more and more outrageous, this shirt marked the tipping point with all subsequent England goalkeeper shirts being plain. Only ever worn on three occasions, most famously during England 5-6 penalty shoot out defeat to Germany at Euro ’96, the kit will always be remembered.

Manchester United – away 1995-1996

3-0 to Southampton on an overcast spring morning at ‘The Dell’ in 1996 Sir Alex Ferguson made his team change strip at half time to a blue and white ensemble claiming that the players couldn’t see each other properly, due to colour of the shirt blending in with the crowd. As excuses go, its up there as one of the more far fetched for a poor performance, but it guarantees this shirt a place on in football folklore.

Newcastle United – away 2009-2010

After suffering the humiliation of relegation from the Premier League, Newcastle announced the arrival of their new strip for their promotion push and campaign in the Championship. Most fans expected a classic, understated shirt after the failures of the previous season but this striped, canary yellow was anything but. Fortunately Newcastle went on to win the Championship at a canter so fans will have happy memories to associate with this garish piece. 

Everton – away 2010-2011

Pink or magenta officially is  a colour that doesn’t always find itself translated well in the macho image of football, so it was quite a surprise when Everton released their away strip for last season. The science behind it, is such that Everton believed their players would be more visible to each other in their peripheral vision. It remains to be seen if other teams will copy this approach, yet it is highly unlikely.

WHAT IS THE WORST KIT OF ALL TIME?

Let me know in the comment box below

Greatest manager of all time?

Choosing the best footballer of all time. Easy. Ask a terrace full of football fans that question and half will answer you Pele, the other half Maradona, then toss a coin between the two. Neither answer would be controversial. One day in the near future Lionel Messi might join that shortlist, but for now it’s a pretty straight forward either or debate. Ask who is the greatest manager of all time however and you end up with a shortlist of at least 50.

A great player will always find their way to the top of the game, win the biggest prizes and deliver on the biggest stage, but for a manager it can be an all together different story. Sir Matt Busby, Bill Shankly, Bob Paisley, Brian Clough nor Jose Mourinho have ever taken a team to a World Cup, the biggest prize of them all, in fact very few of the ‘greatest’ have, and them that have won the World Cup are still not regarded as legends of the game. Vincente Del Bosque, Luis Scolari and Aime Jacquet don’t make the shortlist of many as the best that history has to offer.

So what is the criteria by which you measure a managers ability? Do you measure success strictly in accordance with the number of trophies in the cabinet? If so Sir Alex Ferguson is probably your answer? Or do you push for the great one club men like Bob Paisley or Sir Matt Busby, who won everything the domestic game had to offer with the club they loved? Do you go for those who have proved they can succeed almost anywhere, with any club like Fabio Capello, Jose Mourinho and Giovanni Trapattoni? Do you give bonus points for the games great thinkers and tactical innovators like Rinus Michels, Johann Cruyff, Ernst Happel and Arsene Wenger? Do you look for a manager who built a club from nothing and created a legacy, an institution long after their passing, such as Bill Shankly at Liverpool and Brian Clough at Nottingham Forest? How do you quantify the success of someone like John Toshack, who took Swansea City from the 4^th division of English football to the top flight in only four years and then went on to win La Liga with Real Madrid? You would find few who would give him a mention in the ‘all time’ greatest list, but his achievements deserve consideration.

Anyway, I’m not going to attempt to decide who is the ‘greatest manager of all time’. But, I would like to open up the debate and canvas comment and opinion. So here’s a shortlist of 10, with their achievements in no order other than alphabetical.

Please leave your thoughts and comments at the bottom of the page.

Sir Matt Busby

If club building scores highly than Sir Matt Busby is up there, for building up Manchester United, then rebuilding them after the Munich air disaster in which he nearly lost his own life. Busby laid the foundations for the success Manchester United currently enjoy, youth development, the expansion and improvement of Old Trafford and winning trophies. He also managed to enjoy spells as a player for Manchester United’s two greatest rivals, Liverpool and Manchester City.

Honours

European Cup x 1

English First Division x 5

FA Cup x 2

FA Charity Shield x 5

Brian Clough

If Brian Clough were making this list I’m sure there would be no debate as to who is the greatest. ’The best English manager, England never had’ made do with taking unknown clubs Derby County and Nottingham Forest from the depths of the Second Division to becoming champions of England. With Nottingham Forest he managed to win consecutive European Cups, the FA Cup always eluded him though, as well as the England job.

Honours

European Cup x 2

European Super Cup x 1

English First Division x 2

English League Cup x 4

FA Charity Shield x 1

English Second Division x 1

Inter League Cup x 1

Sir Alex Ferguson

After knocking over the Old Firm in Scotland, Sir Alex Ferguson headed south to take over the reins at Manchester United. In his 25 years in Lancashire, Manchester United have dominated English football in an era of success only matched by Liverpool’s in the 1970’s and 1980’s. A giant of football, Ferguson is desperate to add a third European Cup to his CV and cement his place as the most successful manager of all time.

Honours

Sir Alex Ferguson 'treble in 1999' of the FA Premier League, FA Cup & UEFA Champions League.

UEFA Champions League x 2

UEFA Cup Winners Cup x 2

FIFA World Club Cup x 2

European Super Cup x 2

FA Premier League x 12

Scottish Premier League x 3

FA Cup x 5

English League Cup x 4

FA Charity / Community Shield x 9

Scottish Cup x 4

Scottish League Cup x 1

Bella Guttman

Bella Guttman is credited with creating the ‘cult’ of the manager, pioneering the attacking 4-2-4 formation which heavily influenced the development of Portuguese and Brazilian football. He won successive European Cups with Benfica and is described as the ‘true special one’ by Jose Mourinho.

Bela Gutmann and Eusebio after capturing the 1960/61 European Cup.

Honours

European Cup x 2

Portuguese Primeira Liga x 3

Hungarian NBI League x 2

Portuguese Cup x 1

Hungarian Cup x 1

Sao Paulo State Championship x 1

Ernst Happel

Ernst Happel won the domestic league in 4 countries (Germany, Holland, Belgium & Austria) as well as winning 2 European Cups, with unfashionable Hamburg & Feyenoord. In 1978 he led Holland to the FIFA World Cup Final, where they narrowly lost in extra time to host nation Argentina.

Honours

UEFA European Cup x 2

Ernst Happel with the European Cup and Bundesliga trophy which he won with Hamburg 1982/83.

FIFA Intercontinental Cup x 1

German Bundesliga x 2

Dutch Eredivisie x 1

Belgian Pro League x 3

Austrian Bundesliga x 2

German Cup x 1

Dutch Cup x 1

Belgian Cup x 2

Belgian Super Cup x 1

Austrian Cup x 1

Rinus Michels

According to FIFA, Rinus Michels is the greatest of them all, being awarded the ‘coach of the century’ award in 1999, which naturally has only been won once. Michels is credited with the invention of one the greatest tactical innovations: total football – where each player is comfortable playing in any other players position, creating attacking, fast flowing football. This philosophy helped him guide the Dutch national team to winning the 1988 European Championships as well as narrowly losing the 1974 FIFA World Cup Final to host nation West Germany. Michels won domestic titles in Spain and Holland as well as winning the European Cup with Ajax in 1971.

Rinus Michels with the Henri Delaunay after winning the European Championships with Holland in 1988.

Honours

UEFA European Championships x 1

European Cup x 1

Inter-Cities Fairs Cup x 1

Spanish La Liga x 1

Dutch Eredivisie x 4

Spanish Cup x 1

Dutch Cup x 3

German Cup x 1

Jose Mourinho

‘The Special One’ is the ultimate tactician, winning every major prize Europe has to offer, on occasion with largely inferior teams. His 2004 UEFA Champions League win with FC Porto, who entered the tournament as 100/1 rank outsiders will go down as one of the tournaments major shocks.

Honours

UEFA Champions League x 2

UEFA Cup x 1

FA Premier League x 2

Portuguese Primeira Liga x 2

Italian Serie A x 2

F.A. Cup x 1

English League Cup x 2

FA Community Shield x 1

Portuguese Cup x 1

Portuguese Super Cup x 1

Italian Cup x 1

Italian Super Cup x 1

Spanish Cup x 1

Bob Paisley

Inherited the reins at Liverpool after Bill Shankly’s shock retirement in 1974, Bob Paisley is the only manager to win three European Cups, although he’s never been knighted for his achievements, something that rankles with many Liverpool fans to this day. In total Paisley spent 46 unbroken years at Anfield as player, physio, coach, assistant manager and manager winning every trophy available apart from the FA Cup.

Bob Paisley - The only manager to win '3' European Cups.

Honours

European Cup x 3

UEFA Cup x 1

European Super Cup x 1

English First Division x 6

English League Cup x 3

FA Charity Shield x 5

Bill Shankly

“My idea was to build Liverpool into a bastion of invincibility. Napoleon had that idea. He wanted to conquer the bloody world. I wanted Liverpool to be untouchable. My idea was to build Liverpool up and up until eventually everyone would have to submit and give in.” Bill Shankly took Liverpool from the bottom of the Second division and established them as one of the best teams in the country winning 3 league titles, 2 FA Cups and a UEFA Cup. The colossal achievements of his successor Bob Paisley owe everything to the foundation that Shankly built.

Honours

UEFA Cup x 1

English First Division x 3

FA Cup x 2

FA Charity Shield x 4

English Second Division x 1

Jock Stein

Managed the first British side to ever win the European Cup, when his Celtic team achieved the feat in 1967, with a team of entirely home grown players. All of the starting XI had been born in Glasgow, even Barcelona can’t compete with that statistic. He also won 9 consecutive Scottish League titles as well as 15 domestic cups. He spent 45 days in England managing Leeds United, only one day more than Brian Clough managed.

Honours

European Cup x 1

Scottish League x 10

Scottish Cup x 9

Scottish League Cup x 6

I would really appreciate your comments below on who you think is the greatest and what criteria we should look at. Let’s open up the debate.

Premier League – Transfer Flops XI

We’re almost halfway through the transfer window and with hundreds of millions of pounds still burning a hole in the pocket of Premier League managers it is to be expected that there will be some pricey moves ahead of the August 31^st deadline.  Every fan loves to see a young player come through the youth set up and force their way into the 1st team, but there is also something uniquely satisfying about the board sanctioning a big money move for a player with an exotic sounding surname or a reputation on the continent.

Unfortunately, for every Peter Schmeichel, there’s a Massimo Taibi, for every Didier Drogba there’s a Mateja Kezman and for every Sammi Hyypia there is a Jean-Alain Boumsong. In this article I will look at some of the most spectacular Premier League flops imported from foreign shores and pick and XI from them.

I would also love your comments on any players you think that I’ve missed out or ones that I’ve unjustly given a bad press.

Gk – Massimo Taibi

£4.7m Venezia to Manchester United

Peter Schmeichel’s gloves were never going to be easy to fill, but Massino Taibi didn’t even come close. After 4 appearances as Manchester United ‘number 1’, in which he conceded 10 including particular howlers against Liverpool  and Chelsea, Taibi was packed back off to Italy never to return to Lancashire. Taibi retired in 2009 playing for Serie B team Ascoli Calcio.

Rb – Per Kroldrup

£5m Udinese to Everton

After qualifying for the Champions League in 2005, Everton manager David Moyes bolstered his defensive options with the acquisition of Danish international defender Kroldrup. After just 1 appearance however, Moyes decided Kroldrup wasn’t quite up to the job and sold him to Fiorentina for an undisclosed fee.

Cb – Marcelino

£6.7m Real Mallorca to Newcastle United

Signed in 1999, Marcelino came with a reputation as a classy centre back, who had been instrumental to Real Mallorca as they established themselves in La Liga and qualified for Europe. Unfortunately, Marcelino suffered injury after injury when he arrived at St. James Park, making just 20 appearances in 4 years, before being released on a free transfer and joining Poli Ejido in the Spanish lower leagues. He retired in 2004 and currently works as an agent.          

Cb – Jean-Alain Boumsong

£8m Rangers to Newcastle United

After just half a season in the SPL with Rangers, Graeme Souness spent £8m bringing the centre back to St. James Park on a lucrative 5 and a half year contract. A string of calamitous mistakes led to Boumsong being dropped, and after just 1 full season he was sold to Juventus for £2.5m. Boumsong currently ply’s his trade in the Greek Super League with Panathiniakos.

Lb – Winston Bogarde

‘Free’ Barcelona to Chelsea

Winston Bogarde, a 20 time capped Dutch international joined Chelsea from Barcelona with a reputation as a powerhouse defender. Unfortunately we never found out what Bogarde was capable of. Early into his time at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea manager Claudio Ranieri attempted to sell Bogarde, he refused to leave as no one would match his lucrative contract. He spent 3 seasons without making a single appearance before retiring in 2004.  He wrote in his autobiography – ‘This world is about money, so when you are offered those millions you take them. Few people will ever earn so many. I am one of the few fortunates who do. I may be one of the worst buys in the history of the Premiership but I don’t care.’

Rw – Sergei Rebrov

£11m Dinamo Kiev to Tottenham Hotspur

In 2000 George Graham broke Spurs transfer record to bring the striker come winger to White Hart Lane. The move failed spectacularly, with Rebrov netting 9 goals in his first season and just 1 in 32 appearances in his second and final season in North London. He was sent out on loan for 2 years with Fenerbache, before being released on a free transfer. Rebrov retired in 2009 playing for Russian Premier League side Rubin Kazan.

Cm – Juan Sebastian Veron 

£28.1m Lazio to Manchester United

Still regarded as a wonderful player, but ridiculously unsuited to the Premier League, Veron joined Manchester United for a then British record transfer fee. During his two seasons at Old Trafford, Veron failed to cope with the pace of the Premier League as well as dislodge Roy Keane, Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt from their central midfield berths. He joined Chelsea in 2003 for £15m where he made 7 league appearances in 4 years before being released on a free transfer to play for Argentinian club side Estudiantes, where he remains today.

Cm – Bruno Cheyrou

£4.5m Lille to Liverpool

The ‘New Zidane’ as he was hailed by Liverpool manager and French talent spotter Gerard Houllier only lived up to that mantle due to their shared ‘Capuchin monk esque’ hairstyle. Cheyrou lasted 2 years at Anfield from 2002 before being farmed out on loan to Marseille, then Bordeaux, eventually being released in 2006. He currently plays for French Ligue 2 side Nantes.

Lw – Albert Luque 

£9.5m Deportivo La Coruna to Newcastle United

Graeme Souness makes his second appearance for buying a stinker on the list. In 2005 he purchased Albert Luque for a whopping £9.5m on a 5 year contract, Unfortunately, Luque seemed unable to deal with the robust, physical nature of the Premier League and after 2 seasons in which he made a sum total of 21 appearances he left to join Ajax for an undisclosed fee. Luque is currently without a club after being released by La Liga side Malaga.

Fw- Bosko Balaban

£6m Dinamo Zagreb to Aston Villa

Croatian international striker Balaban was signed by Aston Villa Manager John Gregory in 2001. He lasted 2 and a half years at Villa Park, in which he never started a Premier League game. In 2003 he received a £1m pay off and left to join Club Brugge on a free transfer. He is currently playing for Panionios in the Greek Super League.

 

Fw – Andriy Shevchenko

£30.8m A.C. Milan to Chelsea

Bought by Chelsea, reportedly because he was good friends with owner Roman Abramovich, the former Ballon D’or winner looked like a shadow of the man who twice won the Serie A golden boot with A.C. Milan. In 3 seasons from 2006-2009 Shevchenko managed a meagre 9 goals, before being released on a free transfer to join Dinamo Kiev, where he remains to this day.